I’m sure you are nice.
You mostly know when to say something, and when to keep quiet, right?
Yet, being good company is not just about those things.
You know exactly what I mean if these two things ever came out of your mouth:
“She is nice, but I can only take so much of her” and “He is always great to be around”.
Are You great to be around?
Here is my completely unscientific guide to help you figure out whether you are good company (and if you are not, how you can change that without compromising your values).
You are NOT good company if you:
1. Judge. You might not say it out loud, but your body language says it all: “I can’t believe she said that!”, “Why would she wear that?!”, “That’s just wrong!” It’s in a squint of your eyes, a turn of your shoulders, a tilt of your chin. And seriously, who wants to be judged?!
2. Keep re-telling negative stories. If in your stories, everyone your come in contact with is “an idiot”, if you mostly talk about never getting a break while others do, if all your stories are about getting hurt, your negativity rubs off on the people who are around you. And it’s unpleasant.
3. Push too hard for what you want. You ask a question. Your friend ignores it. You ask the question again. Your friend changes the subject. You keep on asking the question until your friend is forced to say that the topic is off-limits. This means that you don’t listen to what is being communicated, and who wants to talk to someone who doesn’t listen?!
You ARE good company if you:
1. Make others feel good, effortlessly and honestly. When you have good things to say, say them. Don’t flatter or force yourself into complimenting someone; simply observe, and notice small, beautiful touches. Comment on them without exaggeration.
2. Share inspirational ideas. Stories that you tell focus the attention of your listeners on certain things. Whatever you focus on – expands. Help expand good things in the lives of people around you by choosing inspiring subjects for conversations.
3. Show understanding. “Why would you do something like That?!” is equivalent to saying “You’re an idiot!” Try to understand why people around you act in a certain way. You don’t have to Agree, just give him a benefit of a doubt.
4. Share generously. I’m not talking about you letting others freely pick your brain all the time or giving away all of your possessions. Think of a candle can light up other candles, and Be that: share a phone number of a good dentist, look up the website where you saw a great sale for a friend, offer to give something that would be your pleasure to give.
5. Have an interesting inner world. Do you call your friends with “I’m bored, let’s do something” or with “I have this great idea!”? If you are curious about the world around you, you will never be bored, and you will never be boring. Bring your rich inner world to the table, and that will make you great company.
Does this resonate with you? Please subscribe to my blog . To stay connected, and get a FREE Practical Guide to Decision-Making Without Regrets, please subscribe to my monthly newsletter. I will never share your e-mail address or send you junk.