(Please don’t miss the “Be the First to Know” update at the end of the article!)
I ran into my ex-ex-ex-boyfriend and his beautiful wife in Manhattan. We chit-chatted a bit, and once my ex-ex-ex stepped away, his wife asked:
“I was wondering: how did you ever let this guy go? Look at him! Tall, handsome, not a hint of arrogance, funny, super smart, super educated, really nice… What were you thinking?!”
Her question was filled with genuine curiosity. I wholeheartedly agreed with her description of her husband, a wonderful guy who was completely unaware that women were constantly turning their heads in his direction any time we walked down the street. So, whatwas I thinking, letting him go?!
Although I am often a model for a classic case of “staircase wit”, this time the answer came spontaneously and effortlessly, without a hint of regret: “Have you ever found a perfect pair of shoes– the right color, great quality, and just the style you were looking for – only to find out that the shoes don’t fit you well? Holding on to them wouldn’t do you any good, would it?”
The words surprised me, as if they came from somewhere outside of me.
Then, I woke up. I smiled with at the realization that even though my meeting with this ex-ex-ex and his wife wasn’t real, the message was 100% on target: when you let go of something that doesn’t fit you, no matter how good it is, you’re not missing out on anything.
Easy, right? Here’s the hard part: how do you know for sure, without a shadow of a doubt, whether something really fits you?
One way is to look at it is by using a tough decision as an opportunity to define yourself, to declare what you stand for (must see: a brilliant TED talk of Dr. Ruth Chang on decision-making). Another way is to honestly get to know yourself, using your own lens, as well as the lenses of people who see The Best You, despite all of your struggles.
This year, I decided to focus on helping my clients make difficult decisions. We will explore:
* * * BE THE FIRST TO KNOW: * * *
If you feel that you need to recharge, regroup, learn something new about yourself, explore practical what-feels-like-magic in a safe group of brilliantly intelligent, analytical leaders, discover how to reliably use your gut feeling for improved decision-making… would you join me on a weekend retreat, “Intuition for Left-Brainers: Intuitive Skills for Brilliant Decision-Making”?
It will take place in early May 2015 on the East coast, at a restorative, nature-based-yet-modern center with wholesome meals, be affordable, and open to the idea of you coming solo, bringing friends or making it a joint growth experience with your partner. We expect the limited number of spaces to fill up quickly once registration opens. Would you like to stay posted about this retreat, and have advance notice before registration is open to the general public? If YES, please send me a quick email at Alina@MindTerrainCoaching.com with the subject line: “Keep me posted!”, and include your contact info.
Are You Missing Out? Here’s How to Tell