This is the second of the five-part series of the blog that address personal myths we can drop in order to feel more peaceful and powerful. Yesterday we talked about the myth “I am not cut out for this!”, and replaced it with “I Can do it if I set it up as follows:…”. The key is to re-frame the original project in a way that is palatable to you.
Re-framing projects on your own terms can raise a concern: what if people don’t approve?
Myth #2: “People won’t approve.”
So, who are those proverbial people who you think won’t approve of what you choose to do in the world? Yes, I want an actual list. Let’s say you choose to quit your high-profile Wall Street job and move to a farm in Wisconsin because you’ve always dreamed of living on the farm. So, who are those people that just won’t approve of that? Make a list.
Or, let’s say you decide to be a stay-at-home mom, and still insist on hiring a cleaning lady and a babysitter. So, who are those people that won’t approve? Please compile a list, with names and phone numbers.
So, who is on your list?
Most likely, they could be your parents, perhaps your siblings, or perhaps a handful of friends who are a constant presence in your life. The truth is that if the people on your list truly know you and have your best interest in mind, they will either support your decision, or at least will not stand on your way as you do what you need to do. If they don’t truly know you, or don’t have your best interest in mind, then how concerned do you want to be with their opinions? Yes, it will take guts to stand up to them or ignore them, and yes, it is worth it because you get to create the life that you want to live.
Replace the myth “People won’t approve” with “People who truly know me, who have my best interest in mind, and whose opinion I respect, will support me.” It is not worth your emotional energy to worry about opinions of those who don’t know you, understand you, support you, or whose opinion you don’t respect.
In next few days, stay tuned for more personal myths debunked: “Things should be different” and “I don’t know.”