Wisdom comes at the expense of having broken much – friendships, habits, glasses, heels, codes, hearts, dishes, connections… So, it’s logical that by our 30’s, we have a good grip on dealing with what’s broken: we trouble-shoot effectively, decide when to cut our losses, and how to invest energy into fixing whatever we want to keep.
It’s natural to want to attend to what’s broken: giving energy to the child who is struggling, allocating mental space to the one work project that is not going smoothly, investing into a relationship when it feels strained.
We have become phenomenal problem-solvers who are excellent at fixing things that are broken, and we’ve learned early on that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. There’s a catch in this, though: whatever if focus on – expands. If we keep focusing on what’s broken, we’ll keep seeing more of what’s broken. (Neuroscience in action).
So, then, what if you consciously shift your focus from what needs fixing to what you want to expand in your life?
This time of the year is always full of surprises for me, ranging from unexpected flowers to connections with amazing people who happen to pop up in my life, be it friends from the good old times or new kindred spirits. Because it’s a day before Valentine’s Day, and it’s my Birthday. This year’s surprise: if everything is going according to my husband’s plan, today we’re breathing in the whimsical air of New Orleans, a refreshing change from a blizzard in New York.
Today, as a change of pace from constant problem-solving, I want to put my mind on what’s working well, what’s good, what’s NOT broken. Would you do it with me? Let’s take a look at our lives.
What is working well?
What could use our energy even though it is Not broken, so that it could expand even more?
What do we love as it is now, without having to fix it?
What are our current relationships that sustain us, mentally, spiritually, and physically? How can we invest into them and support them, even though they don’t demand anything from us?
What are our most successful projects, and can we give them more resources?
Who are our most favorite people, and how can we share energy with them even when nothing is broken between us, and simply as a sign that they matter?
Let’s look at what’s Not broken, because whatever we focus on – expands. Let’s scan all areas of our lives: professional achievements, friendships, intimacy, love, personal victories, innovation, sense of purpose at work, having impact with our actions, staying healthy, learning new things, developing mastery and expertise, autonomy to make choices…
This Valentine’s Day, give yourself a gift of seeing and investing into what’s not broken in your life. And if you want to give me a Birthday gift, please share your “what’s not broken” updates with me ( Alina@AlinaBas.com ) – do tell me what’s working well in your life. Thank you!
UPDATES: Later this year, I’ll be teaching programs on intuition development for analytical thinkers at Garrison Institute and at MIT Sloan School of Management. Would you like to introduce your organization to research-based programs on intuition development? Let’s set up a call to discuss. (Or send me an email at Alina@AlinaBas.com )
NEW: Need a change of pace? Is it time for a transformation? Ready for your personal Everest? Learn more here.