If thoughts like “What will people say?” or “My boss will never approve” or “My family will disown me if…”, then this post is for you.
As you put your work into the world, who do you think judges you?
“People” is not good enough. Give me names. Seriously, take out a piece of paper and a pen, and write down in a column a list of all the people who you think judge you. Be specific: please list individual family members and co-workers rather than saying “family” or “co-workers”. Take your time; make the list as complete as you can.
How does it feel to think that they all judge you? Probably, not so great. So, what can you do to feel better?
Ask 5 questions about each person on the list, and put a check mark next to the name for every “yes”:
1. Is it absolutely true that this person judges me? (If you are not sure that it is absolutely true, verify it through facts. No facts – no check mark.)
2. Does this person Truly know me?
3. Does this person have my best interest in mind?
4. Do I respect this person’s opinion?
5. Is this person capable of providing constructive feedback?
If you get all 5 “yes” answers for someone on the list, it may be worth to talk to him or her and ask for support. If you don’t get 5 “yes” answers, feel free to cross the person off your list.
If the person
- doesn’t really judge you except in your mind
- doesn’t truly know you
- doesn’t have your best interest in mind
- can’t provide constructive feedback
- if you don’t respect this person’s opinion
…it is not worth your emotional energy to worry about him or her judging you.
Now, breathe in, exhale and go create the world that you want to live in.