I was just listening to TED Radio Hour podcast on Disruptive Leadership (super insightful line-up of conversations in that program is a “must listen”). One of the presenters, Seth Godin, said: “Do you know what people want more than anything? They want to be missed. They want to be missed the day they don’t show up. They want to be missed when they are gone”.
Why? I believe it’s because we equate being missed with a measure of impact we make.
For better or for worse, for each item we own that serves a purpose, we can find a replacement (or a set of replacements) that accomplishes a similar result for us. For every employee who has expertise in a certain area, we can most likely find someone who knows (or can learn) just as much. We can find people who care just as much, or things that are just as convenient. Then, why would anything or anyone be truly missed?
In the world where nearly everything and everyone can be replaceable, where knowledge is a Google search away, where outsourcing any part of life often feels seamless, what makes you a person who will be missed when you are gone? What makes you unforgettable?
Well, here’s what I believe the secret is: you will be missed if you were truly present for a person or experience.
Not “present” in a sense that you merely showed up, but in a sense that you gave of yourself. You are present when you lend not just your knowledge, talent, and skill to a situation or to a fellow human being, but also your heart, your undivided time and full attention.
Your function may be replaced, but never your presence. You may be paid for your time and skill, but you will be missed for your presence.
So, how can you know whether you’ll be missed? If you make your partner, child, friend, manager, employee, client, parent, or a stranger in front of you feel as if they are all that matters when you are together, during every interaction, you will certainly be missed and remembered.
And you will be irreplaceable, even if your spot is eventually taken up by someone else.
You will be missed because your mindful presence makes deep, unforgettable impact.
If you want to reflect on making deep, unforgettable impact in different areas of your life, I am here for you, fully present.
NEWS & UPDATES:
I just spent several days at Garrison Institute, at a conference for focusing-oriented therapists, who taught me a great deal about presence, pausing, and sensing. In turn, I shared how to introduce the “slow” ideas of pausing and sensing to fast-paced analytical thinkers in a palatable way.
The experience has changed me: it made me a deeper, more present coach, helping me continue building a coaching experience echoing Marina Abramovic’s breathtaking “The Artist Is Present” in addition to generating solutions for clients. Please, ask me more if you are curious, and please, tell me more if pause and presence is what you crave.