Personal Myth to Debunk: “I don’t know” (Part 5 of 5)

Over the past three days we discussed personal myths that you can safely drop this year in order to live better:

Myth #1: “I am not cut out for this”. (Replace it with ““I Can do it if I set it up as follows:…”)

Myth #2:  “People won’t approve”. (To feel more peaceful and powerful, replace it with “People who truly know me, who have my best interest in mind, and whose opinion I respect, will support me.”)

Myth #3: “Things should be different.”  (Rephrase your sentence in two parts: 1) what things currently Are, and 2) what you want to do in the context of what things currently Are.)

Now, what do you tell yourself when you feel uncertain about the way you want things to go?

Myth #4: “I don’t know.”

Let’s try it on:

“What are your ideas for finding a new job?” “I don’t know…”

“What do you want to eat for dinner?” “I don’t know…”

“What can we do to increase the sales this quarter?” “I don’t know…”

“Do you like jazz?” “I don’t know…”

So, where does “I don’t know” lead you?  It doesn’t offer creative ideas, solutions, or anything constructive to consider.  “I don’t know” is a dead end, and can definitely be replaced by something more constructive, even when you don’t have all the answers.

Your mind has a tendency to close the gap between what you think and what you see in the world. For example, if you tell yourself “the world is full of men in blue shirts!”, you will be surprised how many men in blue shirts you will start noticing all of a sudden.  It is about you choosing to place your attention on one thing over another.

Go ahead, try it.  What would you like to see materialize in the world? Start with something preferably fun and easy, not something that is super important to you.  For example, red shoes, or a particular brand of a car, or strawberry cheesecake (although I don’t deny that those things can be very important to some of us J)  You will be surprised how many people all of a sudden start wearing red shoes, driving a certain car, or ordering strawberry cheesecake.

Saying “I don’t know” works according the same principle: if you keep saying it, your brain will look for confirmation of things that you don’t know in the world, subconsciously pointing out all the examples of your lack of confidence or competence.

Bottom Line:

There is nothing wrong with not knowing something and admitting it. Yet, if you say “I don’t know” often enough, it will keep your brain focused on all the instances when you feel least competent. Replace the myth of “I don’t know” with “What I know so far is…” or “I know how I can find out…” or “At this moment, I am leaning towards…”.

This way, you are putting yourself on a road to Somewhere rather than pushing yourself into a dead end of “I don’t know.” Start with what you do know for the moment, and as any good pilot will tell you, if you need to change course later on in order to get to your desired destination, you do just that.