Choose your mess (and what I really do for living)
“Life is going to be a mess, one way or the other. You just sort of choose your mess,” said Daniel Jones, the founder of a weekly Modern Love column in The New York Times, on the 20th anniversary of the Modern Love podcast episode.
Clients who reach out to me often face something they perceive as a mess, hoping that once the mess is cleared up, clarity and certainty will emerge. While we can arrive to clarity, certainty proves to be evasive. In Pema Chödrön’s words, “If you are invested in security and certainty, you’re on the wrong planet”. So, forget certainty .
How do we then ease into our lives if, no matter which path we take, things will just be a mess? Think of it:
Becoming a leader is not straightforward; it's a mess.
Writing a book is a mess.
Changing jobs is a mess, let alone changing careers.
Any relationship is a mess, at one point or another.
Love... Oy vey!
Parenting is a mess.
Baking is a mess.
Moving is a mess.
Education (and dealing with a schooling system) is a mess.
Health (and dealing with a healthcare system) is a mess...
We need to remember that things are not supposed to be neat and pretty, but rather, they are necessarily messy. When we get moments of ‘neat and pretty’, these are exceptions worth celebrating! Pristine order occurs rarely, and holds up ever so briefly, as entropy inevitably overtakes it.
Some messes feel easier to us and less messy than others; for certain messes, we are better equipped; there are also messes which we don’t mind at all.
Although we may end up in messes not of our own choosing, we often do choose certain messes because dealing with them has value and meaning for us, and because it is meaningful to spend time, attention, and energy on making these messes manageable.
Thinking what kind of messes we want to spend time on appears to be more constructive than striving for pristine order. Instead of asking how to get all these messes under control, maybe we can focus on choosing messes more purposefully, in alignment with what we want to see happen in this crazy life of ours.
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On a more personal note... I recently realized that my friends and even clients can’t easily describe what I do as an Executive Coach, although they instinctively know when to ask me for help. They say “you should talk to Alina” to friends and colleagues who are struggling, because they know it will help, but have difficulty articulating how and why it works. This is how I can explain it:
Reach out to me when you…
- Face a mess that you’d like to untangle, or need support in making a difficult choice
- Want to make a change, and would like to have a solid plan for how to proceed
- Want to feel better, be better, do better, but … can’t make it happen.
I will…
- Listen to you closely so that we can get clear on what you really want
- Ask thoughtful questions to figure out what is really going on, and what we can make happen
- Help you create a clear vision, a plan of action, and rapid experiments to continuously test whether you’re on track.
I do this really well because…
- I have extensive expertise: I’ve coached corporate leaders and high achievers for many years
- I’m highly credentialed: BA in Psychology, MA in Organizational Psychology, PhD in Strategy with a focus on conditions of uncertainty, Life Coach certification from Martha Beck Inc., teach Executive Coaching at NYU grad schoo, and alsmost finished with getting ICF Professional Certified Coach certification.
- I deeply care about my clients’ well-being and success (as they define success), using laser-focused insights to help them achieve both.
If I were a marketer, this explanation would be shorter. Do you have creative ideas or a more concise way to explain why our coaching sessions work well? Thank you!
With gratitude,
Alina
Dr. Alina Bas, Strategy Consultant & Executive Coach
https://AlinaBas.com/schedule
New Program on Intuition Development!
It's been a while since my last program on intuition, and as an intuition researcher and practitioner, I'm thrilled to share this with you! Below is info about the upcoming 3-week course, Intuition: Myths, Science, and Practice - course description, format, time (TBD with your input), cost, registration details, and a free preview session link. (Please vote on your preferred STARTING DATE & TIME for the 3-week course by Wed. May 13th! I know we have an international audience in different time zones here, so let’s see what we can make happen.)
DESCRIPTION:
Can we train intuition to provide relevant, reliable information on cue? Yes! By linking academic research on intuition with its practical applications, we will:
· Understand scientific basis for intuition
· Separate myths from science of intuiting
· Generate and capitalize on “aha!” moments
· Increase self-awareness and build confidence in our intuitive insights
· Practice assessing intuitive insights for accuracy
· Translate gut feeling into actionable ideas
· Increase comfort level with making decisions under the conditions of uncertainty
FORMAT:
Three 1.5-hour sessions via Zoom, over the course of 3 weeks in June (I will be available after each session if you still have questions). The program includes lectures, discussion, experimentation, demos, and Q&A. Once you register, you will receive an email with the log-in info. There will be no recording of the class.
TIME:
TBD (Please vote on your preferred STARTING DATE & TIME for the 3-week course by Wed. May 15th!)
Option 1: Thursdays, 8:30 - 10pm EST (June 6th, June 13th, and June 20th)
Option 2: Thursdays, 12:00 - 1:30pm EST (June 6th, June 13th, and June 20th)
Option 3: Wednesdays, 8:30-10pm EST (June 5th, June 12th, and June 19th)
Option 4: Wednesdays, 12-1:30pm EST (June 5th, June 12th, and Wed. June 19th)
COST: $299
REGISTRATION:
Required. The time and the registration link will be posted at https://www.alinabas.com/schedule after the voting for the time is done on May 13th.
FREE INFO SESSIONS:
1. Wed., May 22nd, 12pm - 12:45pm EST
2. Thu., May 23rd, 9pm - 9:45pm EST
Please, register for one of the sessions at https://www.alinabas.com/schedule if you have any questions about the 3-week course, or want to get a sense for the course dynamics.
PLEASE REMEMBER to vote on your preferred STARTING DATE & TIME for the 3-week course by Wed. May 15th!
NEWS AND UPDATES
Dreams do come true!
I have just finished teaching Advanced Executive Coaching and Development as an Adjunct Professor at NYU Graduate School of Arts and Science. It was truly a peak experience to design and teach a high-level course on the topic that is dear to my heart and that I know well. Dreams do come true. More to come.
ICF Certification
I've completed the International Coaching Federation (ICF) certification training, Level 2, leading to the Professional Certified Coach (PCC) credential; almost ready to shedule an exam. If you are considering working with a coach, please, drop me a note at Alina@AlinaBas.com , or schedule a Strategic Planning Session; it is a great way to reflect on what is happening, and set sights on what you want to see ahead. https://www.alinabas.com/schedule
NEWSLETTER
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