“I’m Not This Person!”

Back in November, I met up with an acquaintance after about a year of not seeing each other. We’ve casually known each other for over 16 years. Our conversations are mostly on the professional side, never too deep or personal. He does not smile much and is ‘all business’.

I used to tell myself he was too busy or uninterested in a more convivial exchange with me.

This time was different.

He was all smiles. He looked at me and saw me. He initiated a lovely conversation.

I asked what led to such a drastic change in dynamics.

He said he changed his workplace.

“I didn’t even realize how toxic my previous company was. Friends and clients were commenting that I’m snappy and never smile. I was not ‘that person’! I’m warm, friendly, and naturally smile a lot – like now. I was not myself. Now I feel like myself again.”

What does it mean to you to feel ‘most like yourself’?

It is a tricky question, because ‘yourself’ is fluid.

For example, is your ‘work self’ the same as your ‘home self’?

Is your ‘self with your parents’ the same as your ‘self with your children’?

Are you the same person you were at 5 years old?

If you lose your memory, would you still be ‘yourself’?

I think of ‘being myself’ while rushing to cook dinner before a coaching call, simultaneously monitoring piano practice, thinking through the upcoming call and the next day’s schedule, while answering questions about physics and an English assignments.

I do it all, in the process turning into an efficient, but most unpleasant creature.

I’M NOT THIS PERSON! – I say to myself. ‘In reality’ I am a reasonable, funny, kind, and interesting person… But then, isn’t this kitchen experience also reality? Where is ‘the real me’?

What situations make you feel most like yourself whatever you see yourself to be?

Some people figure this out naturally, and others (like me) need to take time to think about it. If you need this time as well, can you make a list, mental or tangible, what makes you feel ‘most like yourself’?

When do you feel ‘most like yourself’?

With whom do you feel ‘most like yourself’?

How much time do you spend in situations that make you feel most like yourself?

I am a typical Aquarius (I usually joke that there is nothing typical about a typical Aquarius), this week is my Birthday.

Four years ago, I resolved to focus on what’s not broken.

This year, I wish to spend more time on what makes me ‘feel most like myself’, even if I have to rediscover anew what these things are.

Would you drop me a line and tell me what makes you feel most like yourself? It would be a wonderful Birthday gift, and a great excuse to reconnect. 

Also, in what activities and places do you see me ‘most like myself’ as you know me?  Tell me?

Be well!

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