“Coping During Coronavirus” Series, Part 3 of 10.
Whether you are ready to acknowledge it or not, you’re a wayfifnder – someone who can “know as you go”, not always “know before you go”.
You’re responsible for people in your family, for colleagues on your team, for your clients, and you don’t usually have precise directions for “doing this job right” – you figure out how to get it done.
How do you know how you’re doing, if half the time you feel like you’re “making it up as you go along”?
You certainly look like you know what you’re doing…
Most of the time you actually do know what you’re doing, but it would be nice to have definite markers, to know for sure.
“How do I know if I’m on the right path?”
When dealing with problems that are not particularly well structured (like quarantine during a pandemic, parenting, intimate relationships, career change, reaching peak effectiveness, etc.), no matter how much data we turn over, it doesn’t provide The Answers. To get answers, we interpret data through our beliefs, fears, hopes, understandings and desires.
If you want to get a definite signal of being on the right path, you need an ability to read the internal map of your beliefs, fears, hopes, and desires (self-awareness), your ability to read the external signs and clues (environmental awareness), interpret those signs, and align your inner desires with these external signs in a way that is harmonious to you.
Sometimes, there are no external signs that we can understand. The paths are unmarked or unknown, and “everyone else’s paths” don’t feel right to us.
As we are all managing through the uncertainty of today’s situation in the world, here are some things to keep in mind:
• There is no universal “right way”, even if “everyone else” seems to have found it
• You didn’t “lose your way”; the time has changed, you have changed, and you’re creating a new way all the time
• Use all of your senses to give yourself the best chance to create a customized mental map for you. Start by simply paying attention, and it will get easier with practice.
• Your eyes and ears have been trained by experience to differentiate signals – what’s far, what’s near, what’s dangerous, and what’s useful. Experiment with developing other senses, so that you become attuned with all of your body to barely noticeable signs and clues. These clues will help you stay “on your way” once you learn to interpret them.
• Everyone is wayfinding. Psychologists who write about relationships are wayfinding through relationships. Experts who write about the financial markets are wayfinding through investments. Parents who write about child-rearing are wayfinding through parenting. And most everyone is wayfinding through leadership, building trust, and making connections.
There’s no “the way”, there’s only ongoing wayfinding, and we are all doing it all the time. Uncertainty is here to stay, but the good news is that we have become great wayfinders along the way.
I’d love to hear your stories of getting through this seemingly impossible challenge of working, learning, parenting and creating under quarantine. How are you making things work? Please, share your story with me, Alina@AlinaBas.com . Also, please, sign up for my newsletter if you’d like to see new posts like this in your inbox.
FIGURING IT OUT TOGETHER:
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Much of my executive coaching work is done remotely via video conferencing/phone, as my clients are all over the map. While it may not be wise now to stick your hand into the Boca della Verita in Rome, we can still search for your deep truth through coaching, via Skype, Hangouts, or Zoom, http://AlinaBas.com/get-started . We can talk about your priorities, managing virtual teams, co-working with your spouse from a home office, and strategies for moving through uncertainty.
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I did a workshop called “Emergency Coaching Response” for leaders during the People’s Recovery Summit in NYC after hurricane Sandy. I offer a similar program now (remotely) for corporate leaders, lay leaders, and managers. Please email me at Alina@AlinaBas.com if your company or group may be interested. Learn to: Help a person in distress regain focus and calm on the spot, Ask questions without intimidating or frustrating a person in crisis, Shift the person in crisis away from spinning stories and focus on the present, and Guide a person in crisis to allow for new possibilities in a post-crisis life.
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One of my favorite workshops to teach is “Intuition: Myths, Science, and Practice”. I’ve taught it to software engineers, financial analysts, entrepreneurs, lawyers – analytical thinkers interested in developing their sensory capacities to understand and use their intuition more effectively. One-on-one skill development, private groups, corporate workshops. Understand what scientists and practitioners know about intuition, and learn to use the body as a sensor for information that is not accessible through step-by-step reasoning. Please pm me or email at Alina@AlinaBas.com for more info.
Coping During Coronavirus Series:
- Working while parenting on quarantine
- Plan B for high achievers
- A way through uncertainty
- You are a BBC Dad now
- When we can’t bulletproof our lives
- What’s not broken
- Recalculating the route
- When to take the easy path
- Restless While Waiting? Do this.
- “Things should be different.”