“Coping During Coronavirus” Series, Part 7 of 10.
In recent posts, I’ve been drawn to introspection: REcognition (and embarrassment), REcovery (and comeback), and now – REcalculating, the idea I borrowed from Sylvia Boorstein, who was interviewed by Krista Tippitt for the On Being podcast.
If you have ever found yourself stuck, and needed to figure out how to get out and where to go next, this is for you. It happens to all of us at one point or another, whether it is due to something outside of our control (say, a pandemic, or an organizational restructuring, which leaves you without a job), or something that turns out differently than you imagined (parenting, marriage, entrepreneurship).
As a coach, I know what to do when this happens; I’ve worked with clients through hundreds of scenarios, which require recalculating. When it comes to my own life, actually doing things according to what I know is proving to be a challenge… What made recalculating easier for me is to approach it as a wayfinder:
1. RE-feel the situation. Even if you’re an analytical thinker, you feel all the time: you can tell whether your food tastes good, you can feel whether you’re uncomfortable around a particular person, you can experience pure joy from a precise solution or an aha! moment. Notice how things feel here-and-now, and sense which direction feels “even slightly better than here-and-now”. Try it. This is a “know as you go” wayfinding approach to choosing where to move. “A compass can go wrong, the stars never”, said a Tongan cutter captain (quoted by Dr. Chellie Spiller, a scholar on Wayfinding, from the book “We, the navigators” by D. Lewis).
2. RE-lax into your experience. Here’s a beautiful idea from Sylvia Boorstein: if you make a wrong turn, your GPS doesn’t judge you, it doesn’t call you names, and it is not angry with you. It simply says “recalculating”, and suggests an alternative route. We are wayfinding creatures, so recalculating without judgement, in a GPS-like navigator style, may not come easy. Think of it as a mercy we can show ourselves, a kindness. Also, just because we ended up in a wrong-for-us spot, does not mean we have made a wrong turn; each turn may have been not wrong, but their Gestalt of all turns may be something that is not right. So, just try something different, without judgement.
3. RE-view the obstacles. I recently attended a fantastic workshop in NYC by an intuitive Laura Day, who suggested to view obstacles as information about your journey rather than barriers to it. For example, finding and putting in one place all of your invoices and receipts for preparing taxes is a part of your doing taxes, not a barrier to it. If your business proposal was turned down, treat it as useful information: think how you can use time to your advantage before submitting the next proposal, think what turn you can make to submit this proposal elsewhere, or do it differently.
I’d love to hear your stories of getting through this seemingly impossible challenge of working, learning, parenting and creating under quarantine. How are you making things work? Please, share your story with me, Alina@AlinaBas.com . Also, please, sign up for my newsletter if you’d like to see new posts like this in your inbox.
FIGURING IT OUT TOGETHER:
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Much of my executive coaching work is done remotely via video conferencing/phone, as my clients are all over the map. While it may not be wise now to stick your hand into the Boca della Verita in Rome, we can still search for your deep truth through coaching, via Skype, Hangouts, or Zoom, http://AlinaBas.com/get-started . We can talk about your priorities, managing virtual teams, co-working with your spouse from a home office, and strategies for moving through uncertainty.
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I did a workshop called “Emergency Coaching Response” for leaders during the People’s Recovery Summit in NYC after hurricane Sandy. I offer a similar program now (remotely) for corporate leaders, lay leaders, and managers. Please email me at Alina@AlinaBas.com if your company or group may be interested. Learn to: Help a person in distress regain focus and calm on the spot, Ask questions without intimidating or frustrating a person in crisis, Shift the person in crisis away from spinning stories and focus on the present, and Guide a person in crisis to allow for new possibilities in a post-crisis life.
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One of my favorite workshops to teach is “Intuition: Myths, Science, and Practice”. I’ve taught it to software engineers, financial analysts, entrepreneurs, lawyers – analytical thinkers interested in developing their sensory capacities to understand and use their intuition more effectively. One-on-one skill development, private groups, corporate workshops. Understand what scientists and practitioners know about intuition, and learn to use the body as a sensor for information that is not accessible through step-by-step reasoning. Please pm me or email at Alina@AlinaBas.com for more info.
Coping During Coronavirus Series:
- Working while parenting on quarantine
- Plan B for high achievers
- A way through uncertainty
- You are a BBC Dad now
- When we can’t bulletproof our lives
- What’s not broken
- Recalculating the route
- When to take the easy path
- Restless While Waiting? Do this.
- “Things should be different.”